why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
