I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
