Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He shit in the fireplace
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
