I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
