Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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