You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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