Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
