Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
