his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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