Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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