Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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