I just pynch a tree in the face
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
