Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
