my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize