didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
