Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
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