worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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