If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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