I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize