I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
