Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize