Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
