I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
