So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize