remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
