Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
