I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
