careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize