anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
This beer is not sobering me up at all
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
