My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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