And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize