btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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