Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
