Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
she peed on how many people?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
