Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
