I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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