only you would photoshop your dick
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
