sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
