I'm drive I can fine osifer
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
