the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
