I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
