So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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