i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
the liver wants what the liver wants
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
