I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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