Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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