if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
