Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
