everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
The struggles of a small town man whore
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
