I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
