Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
