xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
