oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
