Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
