When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
