I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize