I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Randomize
