You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize