my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
